


A John Sheppard Christmas

by coreopsis



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Christmas, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-12-17
Updated: 2005-12-17
Packaged: 2017-10-15 03:25:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/156543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coreopsis/pseuds/coreopsis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John and Rodney are on Earth for the holidays.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A John Sheppard Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> I took liberties with Target's toy and clothing departments and probably the Salvation Army Angel Tree program, because research happens to other people. I started out going for humor and ended up with straight fluff, because consistency also happens to other people. *g*

"I don't believe you," said Rodney as John threw another handful of change in yet another donation bucket. The bell ringer gave John a flirty smile and Rodney gave her a glare, but John seemed to notice neither. He just sailed on into Target with the same cheerful expression he'd worn all day, none of Rodney's bitching had the slightest effect on John's Christmas spirit and it was puzzling bordering on annoying. Rodney had never much cared for Christmas or the whole season surrounding it, and he'd just as soon be back on Atlantis where his real life was. This--shoppers rushing around, sticky children, noisy activity, endless holiday music piped over tinny PA systems--wasn't his life anymore. He missed his labs and his city and the John Sheppard he knew and loved--or not loved, but wasn't driven insane by, at any rate. Okay, maybe loved, sometimes, just a little bit.

As soon as they got inside the store, John grabbed a shopping cart and headed straight for the Angel Tree tucked into a corner near the service desk. "Wait, what now? We came for twinkly lights. You had to have twinkly lights for the absolutely unnecessary tree. Nobody said anything about buying a bunch of useless crap for underprivileged urchins. Isn't that what the hundred dollars' worth of change you've put in their buckets has been for?"

"You're a mean one, Mister Grinch," John said solemnly. Closing his eyes, he reached out and plucked a paper angel from the tree. "Oh, hey, we got a girl. She likes My Little Pony and something called Bratz and sweaters with kittens." He held up the angel in front of Rodney's face. "We have to find a kitten sweater in size 5. This is gonna be so cool."

John was practically vibrating with excitement and Rodney felt a tiny shiver of excitement himself. He didn't think it had anything to do with kitten sweaters. He knew for sure when John turned shining eyes to him and said, "Do you think we can find a My Little Pony skateboard?"

"Are these gifts anonymous? Because I do not look forward to the lawsuit we'll be slapped with when little Cindy Lou Who cracks her head open and her parents want ten million dollars for her pain and suffering."

"You said 'we'. You are totally in this with me." John beamed at Rodney as if he'd just won the lottery. Then he leaned closer and put his mouth right next to Rodney's ear. "And also, we'll be in another galaxy by then."

"You're evil. You hide it well under your little Santa-loving façade, but the truth always comes out."

"So, toys first or clothes?" John didn't wait for Rodney to offer an opinion. "Yeah, clothes. We should get those out of the way first before we get to the fun stuff."

"Yeah, fun," Rodney sighed, but he trailed after John just like he'd been doing all morning starting when John sat up out of an apparently sound sleep on Rodney's couch and said that it was time to decorate. Rodney had poured another cup of coffee, pulled the Krispy Kreme box a little closer, and went back to reading his newspaper. He figured if he ignored the crazy man, the crazy might go away. Oh, how wrong he was. The trip to the Christmas tree lot was his first clue that John was dead serious about decorating Rodney's apartment, and about Christmas in general. John had a truly terrifying variety of knowledge regarding the various types of evergreens and got into a long debate with the man at the lot about Douglas firs and blue spruce and other things that Rodney didn't catch because he wandered away to find a convenient brick wall to bang his head against.

So now he was in Target two weeks before Christmas with a formerly sane lieutenant colonel who was apparently possessed by the spirit of Christmas Right This Minute. John seemed to be determined not to leave anything out and even though Rodney was opposed to the whole thing---the mawkish sentimentality, the commercialism, the opportunistic charities with their hands out everywhere he turned--he thought he understood where John was coming from. Life in the Pegasus Galaxy or, as Rodney thought of it now, "back home" was fraught with a ludicrous number of dangers and they faced them every day. It was only a matter of time before their luck ran out, so this could be their last Christmas, or at least their last Christmas on Earth. He did not, however, have any intention of letting John know he understood the source of his mania.

Someone had to be the voice of reason, after all.

And right now, he had to voice it in words he never would have expected to pass his lips in a millions years. "Colonel, put the Barbie pajamas down. You came for a sweater, not pajamas."

"But they're pink! Little girls love pink and--" he consulted the paper angel again "--Tammy would probably love to get new jammies from Santa."

"Pajamas are right up there with socks and underwear for crap gifts. You want to punish the kid, there's what you buy her."

"But they're _Barbie_ jammies." John put the pajamas in the basket and headed for another rack of impractically pastel-colored clothing. "What do you think? The sky blue sweater with the white kitten or the white sweater with the pink kitten?"

"Kittens aren't pink."

"Okay, blue sweater with white kitten it is." He put the sweater with the pajamas and pushed the cart on to another rack. "Next, she needs some jeans to go with the sweater."

"Oh please. Tell me you are not going to buy this kid that you don't know and will never meet an entire wardrobe."

"Spoken like someone who always got what he wanted for Christmas." John stared at Rodney as if he pitied him and that made no sense because Rodney was not pitiable in the least. It was John whose heartstrings seemed to be in a permanently tugged position. "Come on, Rodney, I make more money than I can spend anyway. That money doesn't make a bit of difference to my way of life, but this little girl probably won't get anything except what I buy her today, and that's not right."

"Fine." Rodney wandered off, leaving John to pick through tiny pairs of jeans, presumably looking for the perfect pair. He came back to find a pile of jeans and three more sweaters in the cart. While John's back was turned, Rodney slipped a Hello Kitty hat and mittens under the sweaters, and then said loudly, "Are you ready to head to toys yet?"

John took another look around the girls' clothing department, considered the cart, and nodded. "We might need another cart, though."

Rodney gave him a quelling look. "I'll wait for you over by electronics." Then he pushed the cart away from the sea of pastel as fast as the human traffic in the aisles would allow.

Rodney found himself staring at the videogames and actually wondering if a five year old girl would like a Nintendo DS. He shook his head and moved on to the PSPs, where he found himself wondering if John would like one of those for Christmas. Since when did they buy gifts for each other? But then again, since when did they come to Earth on leave and John end up staying at Rodney's apartment instead of tracking down some relative or old friend to spend the holiday with? He'd promised he'd be fine there alone when Rodney went to visit his sister, but Rodney had already bought him a ticket to Toronto. He'd tell John about it eventually, a couple hours before they left for the airport ought to do it. Being military, John was probably a fast packer.

Rodney turned away from the display case to find John coming toward him with a smile on his face, and Rodney saw why when he glanced into the new cart and saw that it wasn't empty. There were now, three boxes of candy canes along with DVDs of _How The Grinch Stole Christmas_ , _A Muppet Christmas Carol_ , and _A Christmas Story_ in the top part of the basket. He let an eye roll say all he was thinking.

"What?" John looked at him with huge eyes, and Rodney just sighed.

"Nothing. Let's go look at toys." Rodney pushed his cart after John's and said, "What the hell is a Brat anyway?"

John looked over his shoulder and smirked. Rodney narrowed his eyes and pointed at him. "Don't even."

John smirked harder, if such a thing was possible, and then almost ran into a woman's shopping cart because he wasn't looking where he was going. The woman smiled at John and waved off his apology, but her smile wavered when she caught Rodney's glare.

"Bratz, My Little Pony, and what else?" Rodney asked as they rounded the corner of yet another DVD display to enter the surprisingly subdued toy department. He'd expected way more people but perhaps Wednesday mornings weren't big shopping times for the soccer moms.

"She doesn't list anything else specific. Just toys and dolls."

John clapped his hands and rubbed them together, looking like an overgrown elf--a slightly demonic elf at that. He headed down the doll aisle and Rodney left him to it. He took his own cart a couple aisles over to find all kinds of cool building sets. Finally, some educational and useful toys. He passed over the Legos and Bionicals and Lincoln Logs, and then found something that was very close to perfect.

Rodney put the box in his cart and went back to find John holding two of the ugliest dolls that Rodney had ever seen in his life. John was staring at their exaggerated features and shaking his head. "These...she wants these things? Why not a nice simple Barbie?"

"Okay, you do realize, you are way too fixated on Barbie dolls for a fully grown straight man, don't you?" Rodney said with a worried frown. He wondered if he should check to see if John had a fever, but before he could suggest it, John gave him a weird look and tossed the Bratz boxes into his cart next to a baby doll and a stuffed monkey.

John said nothing as he pushed his cart to the next aisle and picked out a couple of My Little Ponies. Rodney briefly wondered if he'd said something wrong, but then realized from John's misguided point of view most of what he'd said this morning was probably wrong so trying to apologize for just one thing would be a pointless endeavor.

On the way to the Christmas decorations--they had come here for lights after all--John pulled his cart up next to Rodney's and said, "On the way back to your place, we should stop by the grocery store for some egg nog and fruitcake." Rodney made a pained expression and John amended, "Okay, not fruitcake. Gingerbread and maybe we could get--" He broke off when he glanced down into Rodney's shopping cart. "Hey, cool. But isn't five a little young for an Erector Set?"

"Not if she's a sufficiently intelligent child whose parents aren't complete morons--and I guess the chances of that are rather slim, but still, it's more educational than anything with Bratz in the name. And further more..." Rodney trailed off when he realized that John wasn't really listening. He'd picked up the Erector Set box and turned it over. His entire face lit up when he saw the picture of a working model Ferris Wheel and he looked at Rodney with the sweetest smile and Rodney hated himself just a little for how much he melted inside. Only one last shred of common sense and a strong desire not to get punched in the face kept him from leaning over the basket and giving John a kiss right on his smiling lips.

"Umm...why don't you go pick out the lights and decorations and I'll go pay for this stuff and take it to the car? I need to go look for a gift for my sister."

John's smile got even wider if that was possible and he nodded. "Sure, take your time. If I get done first, I'll just wait in the car."

Rodney took the cart to the front and got in the shortest line he could find, where he realized he'd just agreed to pay for all this stuff for little Cindy Lou Who. He sighed and grabbed a couple boxes of cordial cherries off a display at the end of the register aisle. He might as well get something out of this, besides that distressing warmth in the pit of his stomach when John smiled at him.

After lugging two giant bags out to his car, Rodney came back in the store and loitered around the book section until he saw John pass by on his way to the registers. Rodney peeked around a display case and watched to make sure John was really checking out, and then made a beeline for the electronics. He collared the first kid in a red polo shirt he saw and demanded that he open the PSP case so he could pick out a bunch of movies and games and a PSP itself. Then he headed over to toys where he found another Ferris Wheel Erector Set and put that in his basket too. On the way to check out, he remembered his sister and grabbed a couple of fancy looking candles for her. He hoped she'd wait until he was gone to light them, but candles always seemed like a safe gift for women.

He had the clerk double bag his purchases so John wouldn't be able to tell what they were, then went out to the car to find John leaning against the trunk with his bags around his feet.

"Sorry I forgot to give you the keys," Rodney said as he tried to ignore how John looked with his hips canted and his legs stretched out in front of him in a way that made them look longer than they actually were. He motioned for John to move and when he did, Rodney popped open the trunk and stuffed his bag way at the back then helped John load up the toys and Christmas supplies. From the long rolls of colorful snowman paper, Rodney could tell what his afternoon was going to be spent doing. He glanced at John out of the corner of his eyes and wished he could spend it unwrapping John instead of wrapping gifts. He decided to blame this stupid season and John's embracing of it for his apparent insanity because he was being ridiculous thinking about John that way, for all the usual reasons it was a ridiculous waste of time to think about making a pass at a straight co-worker.

"That's a pretty heavy looking bag of stuff you got for your sister," John said as they climbed into the car and Rodney started the engine. "Looks like the Grinch's heart has grown three sizes this day."

"Don't be more irritating than you have to be, Colonel," Rodney said absently as he battled the traffic out of the shopping center parking lot.

"I'm not being irritating--" Rodney shot him a look, and John added, "Not on purpose. I think it's nice that you're finally getting the Christmas spirit."

"I am not getting anything." Rodney turned onto the street that would take them to the supermarket closest to his apartment, and then glanced at John, who was still wore a brightly satisfied smile. "Except a headache."

"I know just how to fix that."

 _So do I_ , Rodney thought. John started making a verbal list of things he wanted to buy at the store, and Rodney added, _But groceries aren't even close._

A hundred and fifty dollars worth of groceries and liquor later, Rodney finally pulled up in front of his apartment building and cursed the fact he'd chosen to live on the second floor because it would be quieter. He looked at John and sighed. "I hate you. Why couldn't you go stay with Zelenka or someone?"

"The Czech Republic is too cold this time of year, and also, you offered. So suck it up and enjoy the season."

"Suck it up...is that peace on Earth or goodwill toward men?" Rodney got out and grabbed a few bags of groceries from the backseat, and started for the building.

"Rodney," John said in a very patient voice as he carried the rest of the bags, "you will not convince me you didn't have any fun at all shopping for Tammy."

"Who's Tammy?" Rodney asked, setting down a couple of bags so he could unlock the door.

John followed Rodney to the kitchen. "Our Angel Tree angel."

"Oh, you mean Cindy Lou Who. Whatever."

"You liked it."

"No, I liked seeing you happy, that does not mean--" Rodney broke off when he realized what he'd said. He straightened from where he'd been putting the cold stuff in the fridge and looked at John with what may well have been a horrified expression. "I didn't mean that. Well, actually I did. It's been a rough year for everyone." He looked away from John's intense gaze and he shut the refrigerator door. "I'll just go start unloading the trunk, if you want to finish up here."

"Yeah." John sounded shell-shocked so Rodney looked over just as he shook his head. "No, I'll help. We can do the rest together later. You know your way about your own kitchen better than I do."

Rodney looked around the tiny space and decided to let it go. He could be generous on occasion and he didn't need some Hallmark-sponsored holiday to do it.

It took them two trips each, but they finally got all their purchases up stairs and piled on the couch. When John started getting out the lights and other decorations for the bare tree that currently stood in a hastily cleared space in front of the living room window, Rodney took advantage of John's distraction to take his gifts into the bedroom and hide them in the back of the closet. He took the candles back out into the living room with him and showed them to John. "What do you think?"

John started stringing the lights around the tree and tilted his head toward Rodney for a better look. "Well, I don't know your sister, but candles are usually a safe bet for women."

"That was my reasoning precisely because I don't know her well either."

John's expression softened but he turned back to decorating the tree without saying anything, for which Rodney was profoundly grateful. He took himself back to the kitchen to put the rest of the groceries away and while he was there, poured a carton of egg nog into a plastic pitcher and then added half a bottle of brandy. He glanced toward the living room where he could hear John singing Jingle Bells off key and poured in some more. Maybe if he got drunk enough, he could pass out and sleep right through this whole experience.

He filled up a couple of tall coffee mugs and took them into the living room. He shoved one into John's hand and cleared enough space on the couch to sit down. John took a long sip, and then coughed-- a little fakely, in Rodney's opinion. "That's...good."

"I thought it would help," said Rodney, taking a huge gulp from his own cup.

John set his cup down on the coffee table and started hanging plastic reindeer heads on the tree. After a moment, without turning around, he spoke in a suspiciously casual voice. "There's tape, scissors, and bows in the bag with the paper if you'd like to get started on the wrapping."

"What I'd like is..." John looked over his shoulder and Rodney couldn't finish the scathing thing he'd been about to say. "Okay, fine, I'll start wrapping."

John beamed at him and started humming the Whoville Christmas carol.

"I'll give you a gift if you'll stop doing that. I'm not the Grinch!" But Rodney couldn't be mad because when else would he ever get to see John this honestly cheerful and unburdened by responsibility? It would never happen on Atlantis, and this warm atmosphere between them would never happen there either so he really should savor it while he could. There was every chance that after visiting Jeannie and her family, John would never want to talk to Rodney again, much less hang out and watch whatever DVD John was putting in the player.

"How The Grinch Stole Christmas," Rodney said, when the familiar intro started. "How unexpected."

"You saw me buy it," John reminded him with a smirk.

"Oh, that reminds me." Rodney dug around in the bags until he found the cordial cherries and opened the package. He even offered them to John before taking one for himself.

Rodney got distracted from his own candy because he was watching John bite into his with a blissful expression and a dirty moan. "Mmm. I'd forgotten how good these were."

"Yeah," Rodney said faintly, his mind so far from chocolate covered cherries as to be in another galaxy. All he could think of was John making that sound and that face under completely different circumstances, sexy naked-with-Rodney circumstances.

"Hey, if you're not going to eat that, I will." John's voice sounding so close snapped Rodney out of his daze and he looked up to find John sitting on the arm of the sofa, practically in Rodney's lap. He took Rodney's hand in his and brought it to his lips where he took the entire piece of candy into his mouth and then licked melted chocolate off Rodney's fingers.

Heat and lust and panic and more lust shot through Rodney and he swallowed hard. He opened his mouth but all that came out was a high pitched sound that couldn't be transcribed with any letters he knew.

Still holding Rodney's hand in his, John finished chewing and swallowed then licked Rodney's fingers again, even though Rodney was sure all traces of chocolate were gone by now. John had been pretty thorough the first time. "Uhh...John?"

"Hey, I think that's the first time you've ever called me that." John smiled and dropped Rodney's hand, but leaned a little closer until his side was pressing into Rodney's shoulder. "Look, when we were at the Christmas tree lot this morning, I picked up some mistletoe and I was going to hang it up somewhere in here and hope I could catch you under it. That way I could blame it on tradition, but... I really want to kiss you, Rodney. And I'd rather not have to use tricks. It's better just to get it out in the open, so if it's not your thing..."

Without saying a word, Rodney reached up and took John's face in his hands and brought him closer for a long, thorough, rather awkward, chocolate-cherry-flavored kiss that would go in his personal record books as Best First Kiss Ever. After a short break for breathing and staring at each other with about a dozen different emotions, most of them positive ones to Rodney's surprise, John reached for him to start their second kiss which Rodney hoped would be even better than the first.

When John over-balanced and fell right into Rodney's lap, it could have been a convenient thing. Unfortunately, John had his wallet in his back pocket and it came right down on Rodney's already half-erect cock. It came down hard and painful, and Rodney had pushed John off his lap and onto the floor before he even realized what he was happening. "Oh, damn. I'm sorry, John."

"No, no," John waved a hand and got back to his feet. "I should be more careful. Wouldn't want to break you or anything."

Rodney shoved the bags over to make more room and pulled John down next to him. "I should be the one talking about being careful, but you know what? I'm feeling reckless."

John laughed and took Rodney's face in his hand and kissed him slow and sweet. "We've got plenty of time to wrap the gifts and take them back. We can take a break."

"Sounds good," Rodney agreed and leaned in for another kiss.

And in the background, the Grinch's heart grew and he carved the roast beast.

 

The end.


End file.
